… this sounded like victim mentality here.

Somebody’s personal situation is not terribly great in some areas, and so it’s now Obama’s fault…

Hmmm….

How does blaming somebody else help your own situation improve?

Sure, some people says it makes them feel good to blame somebody else.

I suspect they’re lying – not too me so much as to themselves. Blame is a negative state – how can anybody feel good about that?

So here’s my call to action:

Take personal accountability and ownership. Think in terms of ‘I’ and not ‘they’, or ‘them’ or ‘you’ – this avoids a blame mentality.

Think in terms of ‘what’ and ‘how’ you can make things better, not ‘why’ (avoid victim mentality), or ‘who’ (again, avoids blame mentality) or ‘when’ (avoids procrastination).

And finally, focus on action, s things change, and improve – talk is fine, and only action gets results.

So instead of whinging with “why is my business coach/mentor or sponsor so rubbish at helping me grow my business?” ask instead “How can I help my business coach/mentor or sponsor help me to grow my business?”

To your success!

Cheers

Martin

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Well, she’s been having a conversation with other ‘tweeters’ about this very subject. @John_Di_Lemme suggests that “Motivation is the Internal Honorable Drive to Fulfill Your WHY”.

My ‘take’ on this is that motivation is the expression of our desire to fulfill our ‘why’ – at some level our reason for being and doing.

In my coaching work, be it with people from big corporates or independent business owners, I find that the biggest success comes when the coachee changes the way they see themselves – their perceptions change at the ‘Identity’ level, which I believe sits deeper than somebody’s ‘why’.

So, if you are an independent business owner for example, and like many you struggle from time to time to make headway, even though you really do know what you should be doing to achieve the success you want, there is something about the way you see yourself that is congruent with your current reality – not achieving the success you consciously want is feeding some aspect of your identity.

To put it crudely, at a deep level you don’t see yourself truly as that person who has the outcomes you say you want. For example, consider when I’m developing leadership capabilities in people such as in large corporates or people looking to lead a downline network in MLM. Until they truly see themselves as being a leader such that it is part of everything they think, feel and do, instead of just acting the part of a leader from time to time, the desired changes in behaviour will not emerge and stick with the coachee – there will be insufficient change in their behaviours.

Now let’s go back to being a successful independent business owner. Until you fully take on the identity of the successful person you say you want to be, you’ll not likely achieve the outcomes you want – no matter how many workshops, courses and gurus you buy in to. Could this be one big reason why 95% or more fail to success with an on-line business?

If you want to find out a little more about this concept, research Robert Dilts and the concept of Neurological Levels – there’s plenty available through Google.

I’d love to know what YOU think!

Cheers

Martin

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